Friendship Help That Girls (Don’t) Want From Their Parents– Part 2 of 2


In Part 1, I shared two common responses girls give when asked, “When it comes to my friendships, I wish my parents would…”  They replied… 1.  Don’t call it drama.  2. Listen.

Here’s what else girls said…

3. Leave Me Alone

After your daughter feels listened to, you can ask if she wants your help.  Say, “Would you like help in solving your problem?”  Honor what she says.  No means no.  If she doesn’t want help, say, “I understand this is your problem and you want to solve it yourself.  I want you to know that I am here to help you if you want help.”  Then, back off.

It’s important to let her know you believe she can solve the problem.  Girls want their parents’ faith that they will do what is right for them.  Be available, but not clingy.

One exception to this rule is if your daughter has been on the receiving end of emotional (or physical) bullying for an extended period of time.  Or, if you are concerned for your daughter’s safety.  If you think she is at risk of hurting herself, it is time to get the support of professionals.

4. Help Me

Many girls wish their parents would be more effective at helping them through their friendship problems. They want help thinking about what to do and would like their parents to step in and work them through it.  They want good advice and guidance.

Girls who are happy with their parents’ support have parents who:

–  Offer effective, positive strategies that are relevant to their daughter’s problem.

–  Let their daughter choose her strategy.

–  Don’t get caught in the pain.  They remain grounded and positive and keep a healthy level of detachment from the problem.

–  Practice or role play the situation with their daughter.

–  Follow up in a casual, calm manner.

–  Bring in other help as needed.

© 2011 A Way Through, LLC

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at

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